Typical
by Blue Linnet
Summary: Insurance Girls experience some Vash induced stress, early series style. Tell me what you think of it!
1. Default Chapter

_Author's Note: Thanks to the nice people who reviewed my first posting of this and convinced me people would notice if I tried to figure out why my apostrophes had turned into O's. Way to go Microsoft...that's all I have to say. _

-Gypsy 

PS-More to come soon ( :  
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The sound of men shouting downstairs was joined by what sounded like large pieces of furniture being moved. Meryl decided to give up the pretense of sleep and with a sigh dragged herself out of bed. She would have thought those making use of the bar so late to be fast approaching a drunken stupor. Who could be causing such a racket? 

"Vash the Stampede!!"..._Right. Obviously._

"Hey," she whispered as she gently shook her partner's shoulder, "time for work."

"Nh?" Milly murmured as her eyes stared blankly up at Meryl. _Wow, she was really asleep. I'm envious. _

"It's ok," Meryl winced at the sound of glass breaking downstairs, "I'll go see if it's serious. If I need you I'll come get you."

Milly smiled, wordlessly turning back into her pillow while Meryl shrugged into her clothes and headed downstairs.

Getting from their room to the landing left her lightheaded, and she paused briefly to pull herself together. _Stupid Vash. Oh, I just want to go to sleep._ But when she lifted her gaze, the scene before her was not quite what she expected. Several men appeared to be cowering _with_ Vash behind some overturned tables. The actual disturbance seemed to be a drunken townsman. 

"I'm tellin' ya, HE'S the one you guys should be afraid of. You guys should help me. $$60 million goes a long way, even with eight people," He turned to point at the men in hiding. Everyone inhaled sharply. Meryl squinted, and saw the man was loosely holding a large gun. Now she understood: the man's drunken flailing was a constant threat of a stray bullet. Since he seemed more interested in arguing than action, the safest course did seem to be simply to wait until he ran out of steam.

"Yeah, well when you get your sixty million, you can pay me back for everything you've just done to my bar!"

"Aww...Harry, man, I'm REALLY sorry about that mirror...and the tables...er, and all those bottles you had back there."

"Why don't you just put the gun down, you moron!? Cut it out before you really hurt someone!"

"I don't understand why you guys won't help me," the man whimpered, "I mean, look, he fits the description..."

"The only one I see acting like a 'humanoid typhoon' is you, idiot! We were all having a nice drink before you started acting like a raving looney! Now give Jesse his gun back."

"No!!" the man shouted and attempted to stomp petulantly. Instead, he lost his balance and landed on his backside, sending the gun flying through the air in the process. 

"Look out!!" That sounded like Vash, but they had all disappeared behind their tabletop.

A shot rang out as the gun hit the floor, and the picture frame behind Meryl shattered. The shock of having something explode directly behind her head fought with extreme fatigue. The net result was a frozen Meryl, her mouth hanging slightly open as the world around her burst into activity.

Several of the men rushed from behind the table to keep the drunk from getting up again. Milly, woken by the shot, had flown past Meryl without even noticing her, still in her pajamas but stun gun in hand. The drunk himself, having taken in the sudden turn in the situation, had made a desperate though unsuccessful scramble for the door. He'd only gotten a few feet before being pinned roughly to the floor. Two men were now hauling him in the direction of the sheriff's office.

Those left, Milly included, started to clean up what was left of the bar. Vash stood up, rubbed his shoulder...and then stared at her intently. _What are you looking at, bub?_ He stayed like that for longer than made her comfortable. She didn't like the attention, plus she had a nagging feeling that her hair was doing something weird. She was about to yell at him when she realized he probably wasn't looking at her at all. From what she'd seen fly past her, the portrait on the landing was probably beyond hope. And the plaster had looked so old that a good tap would have sent it crashing down. The bullet had probably left a decent-sized hole. _Poor innkeeper. Actually, poor me as well...dammit, I'm sure he'll be wanting to file a claim. I don't want more paperwork._

All of this was doing absolutely nothing to help the splitting headache she'd developed. _Vash, at this rate you are going to give me an ulcer before the year is out._ She sighed, and turned to survey the damage...or at least tried to. Her fingers didn't seem to want to let go of the railing. Concentrating a little harder, she managed to get her fingers loose, but her whole body was responding slowly and clumsily. It felt like it wasn't fully connected to her brain anymore. She saw Vash yell as she turned, but couldn't really make out what he had said over the rushing in her ears. She leaned forward to examine the gaping hole in the plaster... 

...and felt a pair of hands: one under her neck, one under her back. She opened her eyes, and found that 1) she was a lot closer to the ground than she remembered, 2) she was carefully being lowered the rest of the way, and 3) Vash's goofy face was grinning back at her. It was hard to put into words just how much that fake smile of his annoyed her.

"What are you doing?" she meant to snap, but it came out more as a mumble.

"Um...you just almost passed out. Milly's gone to get a doctor. I'm just gonna keep an eye on you in the meantime."

"This town doesn't have one. They go to the next town...it's about 10 iles away."

"How do you know that?"

"It's part of my routine now. Given my experiences traveling with you, it seems prudent to check for the quickest routes to first aid supplies and medical attention in towns we spend more than the afternoon in." His fixed grin faltered, and she felt guilty for being so blunt.

"Oh...I...someone should tell Milly"

She smiled, "So go get Milly. I promise not to die or anything while your gone." _Ok, that wasn't exactly a tactful thing to say to someone who has been through what he has, but he doesn't have to look so damn stricken. _

"Um...no...you are not in good shape...I think it's important someone make sure you stay awake."

"It's just fatigue. You don't need to..." He had lifted her head while she spoke and produced a bloody rag.

His voice was softer now. "Looks like some of the debris hit the back of your head. I think you're right, it doesn't look life threatening, but I still want to you to stay awake."

"O...ok. We need to get Milly somehow, though."

"Vashu-san! The men at the sheriff's station said we need to go to the next town over. The next steamer is in twenty minutes! We should get her over there!"

"Right." He proceeded to pick her up like a rag doll. The sudden elevation made her dizzy...and annoyed.

"H-hey...not NECESSARY! I'm not that hurt! We've got twenty minutes! I can get to the edge of town in twenty minutes, so no carrying necessary!"

"Don't be such a baby." _Ohhh...want to smack. Requires more energy than I have at the moment. Wouldn't manage to do any damage from this angle, anyway. _

"Just let him, please, sempai? I'll feel better about it."

"Hmph." _Ok, Milly's smile is worth it. Poor thing, I guess she won't get to sleep either._

"Glad to see some color in your cheeks, though. You were sort of matching the white of your outfit back at the inn." _You're still a jerk..._but when she looked up he was really smiling. She didn't feel mad anymore, just very, very tired _...ok, kind of a sweet jerk._

"So we're here. How long of a wait do we have?" She was so tired. Twenty minutes seemed like such a long time...plus travel time. She realized she was going fuzzy again when she couldn't figure out 10 iles by steamer. Getting her thoughts into order was like trying to organize bits of paper on an exhaust vent.

"Hey!!" 

"Oh, for Pete's sake! I have a headache, Vash! Please don't jiggle me like that!"

"Sorry, it's a little hard to be delicate. My hands are kind of full of you at the moment."

"So PUT ME DOWN! The steamer isn't here yet! And I'm really NOT so feeble that I couldn't get on it myself when it does come. If...if I lose it again, just poke me on the shoulder or something." _It's embarrassing to run out of steam mid-yell. Especially when trying to convince them I'm all right. I just can't seem to breathe deeply._ Little flecks of light danced in and out of her vision. 

"Whoa...all right! See? Putting you down right now! Just take it easy. We...the steamer should be along any second. Buff as I am, could've been here ten minutes ago on my own..." _Oh, that sentence had better stop RIGHT THERE..._ "but you've been treating yourself to some banana sundaes, haven't you?" 

That was so...unnecessary. And there's Milly next to him...looking supportive!? What the hell!? Ok...ok...last time we stopped arguing I got sleepy. She must think this is helping somehow. That's the only explanation I can think of for a red-blooded woman not bitch slapping someone after a comment like that. But...but that was still below the belt...oh jeez...I am NOT crying...

She had managed to make the situation more humiliating for herself, but had also wiped the smirk off both their faces. _Serves them right..._

The whirring of machinery and the screech of brakes let her know that their ride was here. A look of fear passed over her as she tried unsuccessfully to prop herself up. Vash was immediately behind her, and she was immediately trying to elbow him.

"Hey! I'm sorry!" he stopped moving and she tried again to hit him.

"Look," he whispered, "Milly only knows that you fainted. You can't get up on your own and I don't really want her to see what the back of your head looks like right now. So just let me get you on the steamer and then you can hit me all you want."

She looked at her partner's haggard and worried face, and let herself be carried onto the steamer.


	2. 

"I really am sorry. I thought it was fairly obvious that you aren't at all heavy."

"Yeah? Well, your grasp of the female psyche goes a long way towards explaining why you remain single."

"Um...should I drop it?"

"Yes." Meryl glanced over at Milly. "That girl is absolutely unbelievable." The seats weren't designed for someone her size to be able to lay down, but Milly, fast asleep, had managed to contort herself such that her whole body was curled up on it.

"I guess it's a good thing she brought her pajamas," Vash grinned. Then he looked thoughtful. "She'll be upset when she realizes she's dozed off, though. Do you think I should wake her?"

"She'll be no more upset if you wait until we arrive. She deserves some rest."

"And I don't? Someone has to keep an eye on you."

"Exactly," she tried to say with a straight face, failing miserably. She was starting to enjoy their conversation. But she could no longer think of anything to say. After a few awkward seconds of looking at him she turned to staring out the window. After a while she felt a pressure on her shoulder. 

"You ok?" Vash was looking worried again.

"Yeah, just looking at the sky. Seeing the stars without any city lights has to be about the only worthwhile reason for leaving civilization. And it can't be that long until sunrise now."

"It is that late, isn't it?"

"Early."

"Whatever."

"I still don't understand how you can feel spending the whole evening drinking yourself senseless is a constructive use of your time."

"Sometimes I think there is more time than 'constructive' use for it. Anyway, a little oblivion can be a good thing."

"What's that supposed to mean? Since I've met you there's barely been time to...well...sleep. Or pick up the rubble."

He opened his mouth as if to answer, but suddenly lunged toward her instead, trying to hold her relatively still while the steamer screeched to a halt. Meryl gasped and closed her eyes as her headache flared up again.

"I'd better wake Milly now."

Getting from the station to the doctor's office was a big blur. Vash had carried her again, and this time she hadn't felt like protesting. She was aware of bright light when then exited the steamer, then dark, and then light again, but none of the surrounding area sank in. She was also aware of both Vash and Milly talking to her, and figured she must be responding appropriately since neither seemed overly upset. She had absolutely no clue what was being said. _Lights are on but no one's home._

"...Miss?"

"Hmm?"

"I said doctor is on his way. Just answer a few questions for me I can get you cleaned up so he can examine the injury." 

"Where...What happened to the people that brought me in?"

"The young woman is fetching the doctor. I'm not sure I caught where the man went."

"Oh." It came out smaller and more pathetic than she'd wanted. She was a little scared by her lapse, and being alone hurt more than she would have expected.

At some point she had sat down in front of what appeared to be the nurse's desk. No memory of getting there, or of Vash and Milly leaving. And in spite of the night they had all had, here she was doing paperwork. _I wish my reports were this straightforward, though. Name and place of birth I can handle._ To her horror, date of birth took quite a lot of thought, as did several other lines of the questionnaire. And then mercifully, autopilot kicked back in. She realized she was probably still responding like an idiot, but at least she didn't have to live through it, until...

"Religious affiliation?" The question incensed her for some reason. _I just want to go to sleep! Is all of this really necessary for a medical opinion and some bandages?_

"Why?"

The nurse huffed. "It's a standard question. We want to know if there is anything your beliefs prohibit us from doing while caring for you."

"What? Like 'thou shalt not use band-aides'? Or peroxide maybe?" _Then again, some whacks actually worship the plants. You never know._

"Would you just answer the question?"

"No."

"Pardon?" The nurse was definitely glaring now.

"Oh, I meant 'no' as in no prohibitions. Examine away. Use any chemicals that make you happy."

"Right." The nurse paused before filling in the blank. Meryl realized the actual question had been her religion. The nurse had simply given up. She had an urge to lean forward and see what the nurse had put down, but decided not to push it.

"And who will be paying?"

"Bernadelli Insurance...um, I don't actually have the account number on me. My partner will...no, she's in her pajamas still. I can get it to you tomorrow?"

"Fine! Now come with me." 

As the nurse dragged her by the arm, Meryl pondered whether provoking her had been wise. The nurse wasn't really _that_ rough on her, but Meryl had come in as a semi-conscious head wound patient after all. And the cold water...that HAD to be intentional. You didn't get cold _anything_ on this dust ball of a planet unintentionally. The nurse had mumbled something about a sterilized water supply when first dousing the back of her head, but Meryl was skeptical. Thus she was absolutely overjoyed when Milly entered the room. She was also partially soaked and shivering.

"Hey, sempai, how are you feeling?"

Before Meryl could respond, the nurse was ramming the clipboard in the face of the doctor. "Here you go. Looked like a lot head cuts and a lot of blood, but nothing lodged and no signs of extreme trauma. There weren't even many splinters for me to remove." Meryl shivered. _The woman actually sounds disappointed by that._

"All right, Janice. Thank you."

"If you don't need me, I'd like to get out of here."

"Yes, that's fine. Ok, Ms...Stryfe," he said absent-mindedly while looking over the chart. They all winced as the front door slammed. "Hm. Looks like I'll just check your reflexes to make sure you aren't concussive, apply some gauze and ointment to the cuts, and then you're free to go. I think I'll want you to stop back tomorrow afternoon just to make sure, though. All right?"

And it was that simple. Within fifteen minutes Milly was steering her...well, she had no idea where, but the journey ended in a dark room with a soft bed and that was all Meryl cared about. She was asleep almost as soon as she hit the pillow.


	3. 

When she opened her eyes it was still dark. As she lay on the bed, the darkness gradually resolved itself into shapes: her bag by the dresser, faint strips of light sneaking in through the curtains and under the door, Milly curled up in a bed on the other side of the room. Meryl began idly to play with the hem of the blanket on top of her. _I wonder what time it is?_

It was so quiet. Wonderfully so. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the wind blowing faintly outside. Moments like this were so rare, even before she left the main office. Focused as she was, she heard the shuffle of feet and turn of the doorknob sooner than she normally would have. She turned to look at the door and saw a gloved hand and spiked hair peer around its edge. His eyes connected with hers and he immediately disappeared behind the door again.

_Wait, Vash! It's ok! I was already awake! You didn't do anything wrong!_ She wanted to call to him, but was afraid of waking Milly. She got out of bed as quickly as she was able, but when she got to the door there was no one in sight. She was about to go look for him when a thought struck her. _Motives aside...I'm chasing down the biggest pervert I've ever met to tell him there is NOTHING WRONG with peeking in on Milly and I at night...Meryl, you're absolutely certifiable. _She opted for a shower instead.

When she finally found the bathroom, she realized she was going to have a tougher time with the bandages than she thought. She crept back and retrieved a hand mirror from her bag before trying again. _My God...no wonder he didn't want Milly to see. _With the bandages removed, the combination hand mirror with bathroom mirror gave her the first real glimpse of her injury. A few gashes had opened during her first attempt, helping her to imagine what the hash-mark pattern of cuts had looked like when Vash had examined them. The way the cuts fanned out led her to believe the bullet had passed very close to her left ear. She was lucky to be alive.

Somewhat shaken, she decided not to wash her hair or attempt to dry it. Short as her hair was, it wasn't that long until she was able to reapply gauze to the cuts. The shower had left her feeling sleepy again, and she'd certainly felt she'd earned it, so Meryl slipped back into bed.

Sunlight was streaming into the room when she awoke for the second time. Milly's bed was no longer occupied. Meryl got up, changed, and decided to go find some breakfast. When she opened the door, she found herself face to face with Milly.

"Oh, sempai, I'm so glad you're up!"

"Guess I took my time, huh?"

"Oh no, it's just," Milly's grin widened, "you've got a gentleman caller."

"Hey! Don't put it like that!" Hissed a voice behind her.

Milly stepped aside to reveal a tall, lanky silhouette whose spiky hair was just barely visible over a large bouquet of...well, weeds, but pretty weeds. _It's the thought that counts. _She felt the urge to smile and didn't even try to fight it. It made it all the harder to compose herself when the face of the drunk appeared from behind the flowers.

"I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to see, but I heard what happened while I was at the sheriff's night before last. I...I wanted to tell you how sorry I am."

"No, I just didn't expect you_._"_ Stupid, stupid, stupid! Note the lack of red coat! His hair isn't even the same color...which means it was wishful thinking on my part. I am so pathetic! Ahhh!_ "...Night before last?"

"You've been asleep for a day and a half, sempai."

"Wow, you must be hungry. Can I get you guys lunch? Your friend too if he's around. I want to make it up to you. Must've been pretty gone to think that guy was the Stampede. I mean you can't pull a gun on people just 'cause they have a blonde mohawk. If he'd really been the Humanoid Typhoon, I'd probably be dead now."

"Yeah, um, pretty inconceivable. Actually, I'm amazed the offer free food hasn't sent him running out here already."

"Oh...er Va-, our friend he..."

"He's ditched us. Hasn't he, Milly?"

"...Um, checked out last night, yes, sempai."

Meryl let out a small scream of frustration. "I saw him last night. Fully dressed in the middle of the night. I should have realized."

"So, um, do ya want lunch still?" 

"We have two hours until your checkup anyway, sempai."

Meryl looked at the man. He'd been nervous before, but now he was fidgeting. _Probably thinks he stumbled in on some personal argument...which is sort of true, I guess._

"Yes...good...um, thank you. Now?" 

"Yeah sure. Let's go."

They walked towards the exit. Meryl punched the wall at regular intervals, visualizing Vash's head at the point of impact. After a while, she realized people were staring and stopped.

"So, uh, what's your name?"

"Simon Pierce."

"Meryl Stryfe."

"And I'm Milly Thompson."

They walked the rest of the way to the restaurant in silence. Pierce kept glancing up at them, seemingly ready to speak, but always shook his head and looked down again. She began to feel sorry for him. Doing this seemed to make him incredibly uncomfortable, and if his clothes were any indication he could barely afford it, too. When they got to the restaurant, Pierce ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, so Meryl did likewise. Milly asked if she could go straight to the pudding. Meryl wasn't sure if she'd also picked up on his apparent lack of cash, or if she was just being Milly.

"So, uh, ya gonna go find yer friend after seein' Doc Hamish?"

"Yes, I think so. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I think I've officially worn out my welcome in town. I was wonderin' if ya'd like some company."

"Oh...sure. Why not?" Inside she was screaming. Agreeing to let a total stranger come with them was bad enough, but something about him made her nervous. _Perhaps that he's a violent drunk that nearly blew my head off?_ She couldn't really think of a polite way to say no, though. "I'd assumed you'd lived in that town. Is that not the case?"

"Nah, not really. I mean, for a bit. Actually, I do some investigative work...although, ya can tell by my outfit I'm not all that successful. It's funny, huh? Simon Pierce, PI _sounds_ cooler than Meryl Stryfe, Insurance Claim Adjuster. But here I am, livin' pretty much like a bum, and there you are, huntin' down the _real_ Stampede."

Milly looked thoughtful. "I don't remember telling you that, Pierce-san."

"Ya didn't, hon. Chatted some with Hamish while tryin' to find you guys."

"Oh, that's right. I'd realized before I went to get him that neither sempai nor I had our account info. I explained to him what was going on and that _our friend_ would be coming with them soon. I'm surprised he gossiped about it, though. I didn't think doctors were supposed to do that."

"They aren't, hon. But don't blame him. He's a bit on the lonely side. Was just tryin' to make conversation. Didn't mean no harm. And you don't have to keep sayin' 'our friend.' Ya also told Hamish his name was Vash. Poor bastard's mom must've had a pretty sick sense of humor to name the man after the destroyer of July, but he's about two decades too young to be the real one. Ya ask me, though, he's askin' for trouble with that red coat."

"Yes, I would say almost everything he does asks for trouble. Is...is that where Vash went that night?"

"Yes, sempai. Don't you remember? We thought the doctor would probably understand if we waited to get the money. We didn't want to leave you by yourself like that. But you were with the nurse, and you said you were fine, so he went to get our things and find a new place to stay near the doctor."

"Oh. No, I don't."

"Well, you were pretty out of it." Milly smiled.

"So, do you gals have any idea where your friend would have gone?"

"No, not really." _Why do you care? You certainly did your homework on Vash...and us. Maybe you have to be curious like that to be a good investigator...Maybe, but the thought of traveling with you still leaves a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach._

"Well, I'm gonna go visit the little boys' room. Be right back." Pierce smiled and wandered off.

"Milly, let's go see if the doctor will see us early."

"I know he said he'd pay, sempai, but it's rude to just walk off like that."

"This...doesn't feel right. We'll leave cash and a thank you note if it makes you feel better, but I want to leave right now."

Milly protested some more, but Meryl finally succeeded in getting her to leave the table. They turned toward the exit...and found Pierce blocking their way.

"Oh, Pierce-san, what are you doing over here?" The bathroom was on the other side of the room.

"Seeing how fully you bought my bumpkin routine." Meryl tried to grab Milly and get past him. Pierce pulled a gun from the tattered remains of his coat.

"To be honest, I'm not going to use this on you. At least, I won't try to _kill_ you with it. I need you in good health, which is why all three of us are going to Dr. Hamish's office together. But the town isn't useful to me anymore, so try anything and I promise to take out as much of this room as I can."


	4. 

As the insurance girls were led at gunpoint to the doctor's office, Meryl began to wonder which persona was in fact the "routine." After a few shoves and barked orders, the nervousness he'd shown before was starting to resurface in his voice. 

"So...Simon...what is it that you need us for?" _As if I couldn't guess, but maybe Milly can do something while he's focused on me._

"I need you two for leverage. In my last attempt at bringing Vash the Stampede to justice, I made a few...judgment errors. But, when I heard Ms. Thompson's account at the sheriff's, I realized how useful you could be to me this time." When Meryl turned back to face him, Pierce seemed to be making a conscious effort to keep his fidgeting from affecting his aim on the girls.

"Useful how?" _Heh, look at his face._Looks like the punk wants to brag.

"All the accounts of Vash the Stampede I've heard indicate a man that hates to face consequences. I mean, if I could blow up a city, I'd be like 'Yeah, it was me! What ya gonna do about it!' But he just runs. He always runs. Granted I only totaled the bar, but I would have thought our little confrontation would put him on the road again. For you he stays another night."

"O...ok. So if you really did have some kind of plan, why'd you throw the gun?" 

"It seemed the best way to salvage the situation. I thought I'd gotten a nice little mob together, but at the last moment they chickened out. He just was too much of a wimp for them to believe it was him. Didn't go berserk at all, even when I pulled a gun on him! So all of a sudden _I'm_ the bad guy. I thought best case I distract them and get away. Worst case, if I acted like a dumb drunk they'd only lock me up until I was sober, which they did."

"That was some gamble. I-if you had actually hit me...That's much worse than simply starting a bar fight."

"I didn't see you there until after, ok? God, considerin'...I wanted a fight, not the town leveled. I'm real glad I missed. Real glad." Pierce's face blanched and he was silent for a while. He looked distinctly like someone who was out of his depth. _Having second thoughts, are we? _ Eventually, he was able to pull himself together. "Anyway, less talking more walking!" 

When they arrived at Dr. Hamish's office, they were still an hour early. Pierce was loudly confident on his ability to manipulate Hamish, but Hamish wasn't the one manning the front desk. Pierce moved Meryl toward the desk by shoving his gun into the small of her back.

"Hello...Janice...wasn't it? I was wondering if I could move my appointment up one hour." _I didn't think I'd be so glad to see you again._

Janice grimaced. "What's so important about _your_ schedule?"

"We have to...catch a steamer? Is that right, Mr. Pierce?"

"The steamers come by every four hours or so. What can't wait four hours, Simon?"

"Well, you know...after what happened..."

"After what you did."

"Yes, Janice, after what I _did_, I wanted to make it up to them, you know? They got separated from their friend, and my guess is he went to Cruces since it's the next stop. Just wanted to personally make sure they connected safely."

"_Just_, huh? Well, make it up to them in four hours. We're busy." Meryl glanced around at the nearly empty office and tried not to smile.

"Aww, pleeease, Janice? I'd really like to get back by a reasonable hour."

"So you can hit the bars again tonight? If you're in a rush, why don't you leave these two women in peace?"

"Like I said, for my _conscience_, you know? > They got no one to protect 'em now. Two ladies alone..."

"Are easily as safe without an idiot like you tagging along. Dr. Hamish and I just don't have the time and that's that, Simon."

Pierce's face began twist into an ugly snarl, which gradually contorted itself into an extremely insincere smile. "Thanks anyway, Janice. See you in an hour."

"Oh, and Simon?"

"Yes?"

"Try not to make an ass of yourself until my shift is over. I don't want another long day because of you." _Yes, Janice. Thank you._

"That bitch!" The small group was quickly surrounded in a cloud of dust as Pierce kicked vigorously at the dirt. _This is twice now I've seen you throw a tantrum because things didn't go your way. Someone isn't very good at keeping cool in the face of disappointment._

"Well, as long as we're waiting, would you like Milly and I to check out?"

Pierce was thoughtful for little. At last he muttered "Fine." _Keeping with my theory that you have the sense of a waffle iron._

Since it was still the lunch hour, the hall that led to the girls' room was deserted for the most part. Pierce seemed to tense up at this, but still allowed them to get their things from their room. He did have enough sense to get Milly's stun gun beforehand, and was now standing in the doorway with it resting under his foot. Milly was collecting articles of clothing from her side of the room, but Meryl had never really had the chance to unpack. For her, this was just a matter of getting her bag and cloak, both of which were still sitting by the dresser.

Meryl walked carefully over to the dresser, keeping an eye on Pierce in the mirror above it. The section of hallway immediately behind him was now totally empty. _This is probably the best chance I'll get. _She carefully slipped one hand into the folded cloak and grabbed the nearest derringer.

"You girls come back here with your stuff at arm's length. Don't try anything. This close I can shoot to disable, no problem." Meryl glanced up at the mirror again. _Damn. I could try something from here and use the dresser for cover, but there's nothing in here large enough to protect Milly._

Carefully picking up the cloak so that only the outside faced Pierce, Meryl walked back towards the doorway. Milly was right behind.

"You just hand everything to me one at a time, nice and slow."

In the last step toward the door, Meryl made as if to hand the cloak over, but then tripped over it, stumbling past Pierce. She had a derringer drawn before he had spun fully around, desperately trying to figure out how to pull off a shot at this angle without getting Milly in the line of fire. 

WHAM!

This was a moot point, however, since Milly had already used the distraction to slam him into the far wall, forcing the gun from his hand. Pierce let out a slight whimper as she forced his hands behind his back. 

"Sempai, could you hand me one of my neckties? Or maybe a pair of suspenders?"

Meryl walked over to Milly's suitcase and pulled out a tie, keeping her eyes and her derringer on Pierce the whole time. She handed it to Milly, who proceeded to bind his hands. As she worked on securing the knot she began to hum softly. _Absolutely unbelievable...and here I am trying to keep my hands from shaking. _Apparently some other patrons of the inn agreed. Heads had appeared in the doors of several rooms, watching with interest as Milly forced Pierce down the hall while Meryl followed, derringer in hand.

"Look, I know how much fun this must be to watch, but if you really have nothing better to do, would it be too much to ask for someone go get the sheriff?"

Several hours later the girls were on a steamer headed west, watching the daylight fade through the windows. Meryl was attempting to repair a tear she'd put in the hem of her cloak earlier. Due to the vibrations of the steamer she had yet to successfully thread the needle.

"I seriously doubt Vash will say anything besides 'why me?' when we find him, but if he does, we had a perfectly normal day, ok? The way things have been lately, that it isn't even a lie for us, really."

"Ok, sempai. But why?"

"Because I don't want our paycheck running off in the middle of the night again." Milly smiled. "Don't you give me that look, Milly."

"What look, sempai?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Milly smile only grew wider. "So do you want to go look for Vashu-san as soon as we arrive?"

"No. We're going to find a bakery first. I don't think he'll ask how we've been, but I know he won't if it's a choice between that and donuts."


End file.
